aline@alinedeclercq.com

15 Feb 2018

My 4 years old daughter says she can't do it...

My 4 years old daughter says she can't do it...

On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is the most annoyed you can get: for me this sentence is a 9.5.

Before she was born, I thought a lot about the way I wanted us to bring her up. The one question I wanted to get an answer to was ‘how can I raise the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth?’

I read many books (like you do…) to figure out the advice that was given to the world and swallowed the good, the bad and the ugly. Interesting reading but didn’t convince me. A few months later, she was born.

I very quickly realised by looking in her eyes that there was no limit to what she could learn and achieve. Right in her eyes, here was the answer I was looking for.

My discovery was overwhelming as now it meant that it was our responsibilities, as parents, to make sure she remained the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth.

As you know now, I do like a challenge. Therefore I started to define what a resourceful and powerful lady needed in today’s world. Confidence, integrity, honesty, courage and emotional intelligence is a good start to overcome the obstacles life (and people) put in your way.

It’s essential to learn from these events: get up and be stronger. This mindset is what I’m working towards with my daughter. I want her to be familiar with adversity and see it as a godsend, a step towards significant achievements.

So imagine the feeling I have when we go through her homework and out of the blue, she tells me that ‘she can’t do it.’

Not only I know she can do it as we’ve done it the day before but it goes against everything we have been working on for the last 4 years.

At that point I start ‘taking it personally’, I am failing at raising the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth…

Like for everything, the more time you invest in a ‘mission’, the more you end up taking it personally. Coaching has taught me that it’s me transferring my fears or negative thought onto my little one.

Through coaching, I discovered this trait of mine, which I have identified as my ego. My ego is reluctant to change or even stepping out of my comfort zone, and this energy gets unconsciously reflected in my interaction with my daughter. Therefore to arm her with the high achiever mindset, I concluded that I need to work on mine first and accept that I have to revise and adapt my approach to life while extending my comfort zone.

And by the way, the same applies to my hubby and other family members (including the pets).

Once I accepted that the vibes, negative and positive, I was generating towards my family were impacting the overall mood of the household, everything became calmer.

What does that tell you about yourself?

Focus on what you can change first - You.

I’d love to make you benefit from what I’ve learnt so far so if you understand that tomorrow is ahead and that you have power over what it will look like, get in contact so that we can make it happen as soon as possible.

Leverage Your Worth